The Adoption Guide: Getting Started in Domestic Adoption

Domestic Newborn Adoption
AF Photo Gallery Despite myths to the contrary, domestic newborn adoption remains alive and well in the United States. Current estimates of the annual number of infants adopted domestically (excluding foster and relative adoption) range from 25,000 to 30,000—more than all international adoptions combined. Moreover, the process can go much more swiftly that you might imagine. In a 2007 Adoptive Families survey, the majority of respondents were matched with a birthmother in less than 12 months, and 15% got “the call” to travel after the baby had already been born, without a prematch. In most U.S. newborn adoptions, adoptive parents are selected by the birthparents of the child, and, in at least half of the cases, the birthparents and adoptive parents have met. Domestic adopters usually appreciate the opportunity to build a relationship with their child’s birth family. As one AF reader wrote, “It’s as if we were all on different paths, moving around each other, and one day, our paths crossed to create this family.” While ongoing contact is increasingly common, the extent of contact varies significantly. Depending on the situation, and the laws of the state where the family lives and where the baby is born, prospective adoptive parents may cover some of the living and medical expenses of the birthmother. For an up-to-date chart of state adoption laws in the U.S., see theadoptionguide.com/files/ StateAdoptionLaws.pdf.	Domestic Adoption Fast Facts Estimated Cost: Average: $15,000 to $25,000 (before tax credit). Costs can total considerably more in certain circumstances. See sample adoption budgets for further comparison. Profile of Children: Privately adopted babies in the U.S. are usually newborns. Parent Ages: There are no legal restrictions in most states, but many or most birth families select the family for their child, so parents who are younger than 25 or older than 45 may wait longer to be selected. Family Status: No regulation, but birthparents may be looking for a couple rather than a single parent, and a family with few or no other children. Travel: The adoptive family must satisfy the laws of the state where the baby is born before they can bring the child to a different state. Depending on the state, this may take a day or two or several weeks. Timeline: A baby cannot be legally relinquished before birth. Most experts advise prospective adoptive parents to be careful about making an emotional commitment to a potential birthmother too early in her pregnancy. Domestic Adoption Professional Directory Find an adoption agency with a domestic adoption program in your state: Find an adoption attorney working in your state: Find a domestic adoption agency performing homestudies in your state: Domestic Adoption Support Group Directory Find a parent support group in your state:
Domestic Adoption: the Basics Perception & Reality: The Untold Story of Domestic Adoption Adoption in the U.S. has undergone a seismic shift in the last 30 years. How long will it take for popular perceptions to catch up with the new, healthier reality? Independent Adoption Thousands of newborns are placed each year through private adoptions. Understanding Open Adoption A look at open adoption today.
Adoption Law State-by-State Adoption Law PDF guide to newborn adoption regulations The Interstate Compact Answers to the top questions about this law regulating adoption across state lines Birthfather Rights An overview of one of the most complicated areas of adoption law
Personal Stories from Newborn Adopters Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother A fiercely honest look at the emotional complexities of newborn adoption What the Books Don't Tell You A new dad looks back on the "secrets" he learned while adopting his child Open Adoption: Our Story A mother and her child's birthmother forge a unique, enriching friendship Would He Love Me? Her son's arrival would put an end to the heartbreak of infertility. Why was she so worried? More than Skin Deep She was someone else's daughter for nine months in utero
The Birthmother Relationship How to Write a "Dear Birthmother" Letter What do you say when the merchandise on offer is your heart? The First Conversation with a Potential Birthparent In a first meeting, it is less important what you talk about than that you talk, and, most importantly, listen. Questions to Ask a Potential Birthmother Tips to establish a warm relationship at your initial meetings On Loving Your Child’s Birthmother Two moms who took different paths to adoption open their hearts to their children’s birthmothers.